The seven  dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because  they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see  the Pope.
Grumpy leads the  pack.
'Grumpy, my son,'  says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?' 
Grumpy asks,  'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in   Rome  ?' 
The Pope wrinkles  his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No,  Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome .'
In the background,  a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around  and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back,  'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?'
The Pope, puzzled  now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there  are no dwarf nuns in Europe .. 
'This time, all of  the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy  turns around and silences them with an angry glare. 
Grumpy turns back  and says, 'Mr.. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the  world?'
The Pope, really  confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no  dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'
The other dwarfs  collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor,  tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting...... 

'Grumpy shagged a  penguin!'
'Grumpy shagged a  penguin!'


Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
“Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.
“What's the matter”, asked Larry “Giving up?”

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you're stupid, Larry?”
“No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”
His father replied, “Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.”
Larry, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the Milkman wants to buy Mom ........”

Good night around the world

HOLLAND : Goeden nagt
AUSTRALIA : Night Mate
USA : Goodnite


Are the doors locked, are the windows closed? 
Did you pull in the car and activate the alarm? 
Are the Rottweilers on their post? 

Sleep tight, don't worry, Eskom will switch off the lights !!

Viagra (Gettin' Old)

An old man goes into a chemist to buy some Viagra.
"Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?"
"I can cut them for you" said the chemist, "but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection."
"I know", said the old man. "I don't want an erection. I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers."


Man's Best Friend

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. 
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you!